my heart is torn 

my mind is blurred

my body is unconscious

to these decisions ive yet to make

which have caused nothing but wear on myself.

art school or beauty school. art school or beauty school. art school or beauty school. thats whats racking my brain right now. honestly i can barely focus on art right now, because im to caught up on the idea of im not good enough. no i am not failing, but i am not as skilled as half the other illustrators in my year. which is scary and worries me each and every day. i guess its because i want to be the best, more like i have to be. & well in illustration i'm obviously slacking. i think i might take the year off and go to beauty school and get my license, maybe then ill be ready to start my junior year at uarts. srsly thats if theyll hold my scholarship for a year, i really hope so. beauty school has always been something i wanted to do no matter what, i think now is the best time. its something i KNOW i will be the best at, because its something im so completely wrapped up and passionate about. 

ugh so much to think about.